A few weeks ago I had what some may call a ‘near-death experience.’ Without getting into too much detail, I will say that I was rushed to the ER in an ambulance off the highway in what I heard was a four car pile-up. I was taken out of my car and placed on a stretcher, with a brace around my neck. I was terrified, tense, and almost half there for much of the immediate experience. During the time in the hospital I felt like I was being treated by strangers– although there were some notes of kindness and warmth in humanity that shone out. Today as I sit here typing I can honestly say that it is a miracle that I am OK. I have just a little swelling and bruising, along with the expected tightness in the shoulders and back. I know it was divine grace because when my father and I drove to see my vehicle the next morning and it was smashed. My airbag did not deploy and my seat belt was not of use. This is what some may name ‘a wake-up call’. Because I was on my way to teach at a retreat on the beach (at the beloved Squam-by-the-Sea) I had to make the decision as to whether or not to go. The next day I had the click that I should, that feeling that tells me “yes“. I am so glad I did. Nothing is more healing to me then the ocean air and sound of waves, or the way the light hits the water. It was so fulfilling also because my students brought it — I mean they rocked it — in meaning, technique, openness, realization, transformation, and co-creation. Below are some examples of their work. Each piece varies in its myth and narrative, along with sacred symbolism and just exploration of materials. These classes were nothing less than joyous.
This Samsara– or cycle of life and death continues on, unwaverlingly, on this fragile and wild Earth. So many intense changes are afoot, as consciousness creeps in.. knocking– gently or loudly– at the door of the human body. So here I am today, still here, way too young to go anytime soon (that’s at least what my mind told me at the time). I ask myself what I so often ask my students: What am I most longing for? What do I know? How do I live each day with reverence? What dream is taking place within me that is yearning to express itself? Everyday that we have on this Earth is a gift– there are no guarantees, no promises made. Life can be a celebration; of the ones we love, of the practices we love, of the evolution of loving and caring for oneself. For me, in my post-accident state of mind, my feeling right now is to slow down and be clear, be aware of this moment that is taking place. Make time for my practice, sans distraction, sans the illusion and enticement of what we think fulfills us. Also, to learn how to receive. The post-divorcee archetype of the strong and independent woman carries some illusion, as nothing is as feminine at times than the art of receiving. So in the greater scheme and design of things, when I do ponder the nature of Samsara, perhaps everything is witnessed / everything is observed… yet from a place of higher (and non-judgmental) love.